*Review: Age of Conan – Belit #2*

By WALLY MONK – PM Library Editor

When we last observed young Belit in the first installment of this mini-series, she had killed her father (at his request), and later began to brace the crew of the Tigress for an encounter with one of her long-sought ocean beasties. In this issue, Belit argues with the Tigress’ new captain, behaves like an unbearably spoiled brat, and shows none of the fierceness that would make a reader believe she will become the Queen of the Black Coast so beloved by Robert E. Howard fans. 

The young she-pirate comes across more as an angsty young lass with something to prove and serious self-esteem issues. In truth, I am curious why the captain didn’t throw her overboard. This is the Hyborian Age, after all, and the deadliest cutthroats on the ocean blue certainly wouldn’t put up with a petulant, pushy child – and certainly not without her legendary father to protect her. 

In a continuing unfortunate series of events, writer Tini Howard brings more of the same; poor writing, poor story telling, and a world that is the world of Conan in name only. Truth be told, if I were reading this for enjoyment, I would not buy another issue. Alas, I have committed to reviewing the entire run and I pray that it gets better and shows me some reason why Marvel even bothered sending this off to the printing presses. Despite this – and contrary to how this review may appear – I am desperately trying to find something good to say about this book. 

I have read many average reviews of this comic, and I’ve heard from readers who have been critical of harsh reviews. Some say this is a Conan comic for younger readers; that it could be a jumping-on point for younger boys and girls. While this is possible, I don’t buy it.

In the last issue (as I wrote above), Belit kills her marooned father at his request. Her behavior is more annoying and radically immature than truly fierce. One would certainly hope that this is not the sort of fare we want to serve kids in any form, although I am certain this will prompt some to call me  too “old fashioned”.

Without further complaint, here’s a brief look at the comic.

Synopsis: Age of Conan: Belit #2 (Spoiler Alert!)

Deep at sea (the front page tells us so), the crew of the Tigress sounds an alarm, as tentacles are spied attacking the lead vessel in their fleet, the Imperatrix. An enthusiastic Belit orders the men to arms, as she begins to try and steer the ship to assist. She’s pushed off the wheel by the fleet’s captain, who normally mans the Imperatrix but is aboard the Tigress. Belit responds, “I hope that thing eats the trash that was your stupid ship and no one ever speaks its name again!”

When the captain goes to strike her, she looks at him and defiantly says “do it.” Apparently, he is intimidated by this young girl, yet he blames his departure on the beast going back into the depths. He heads to the captain’s quarters, but Belit beats him there, slamming the door behind her. Inside, she mopes for a moment about the deep sea beast, then dresses herself in pirate jewels and looking in a mirror, tells herself that the Tigress is hers.

Much of the issue is a back-and-forth between Belit and the ship’s captain, as she finally convinces him she’s the real deal by slamming his hand in a door. I’m not kidding. Young Belit has convinced the captain that they can become feared by going fishing for a sea beast – and bringing it back to the coast, offering the people their their services as protector from all of the sea creatures that live nearby and will one day threaten them all.

Does the crew catch a beastie? If they do, how will they bring it to shore? And what will the reactions be if they succeed? 

CAPSULE REVIEW: First and foremost, I think the biggest problem with this issue is the artwork. That’s not to say that both the writing and plot are sorely lacking; rather, any impact the story could have is dulled by comedic, superhero artwork that has no place in a fantasy comic. The action sequences (involving human characters) are uneventful, even poorly drawn.

I still can’t wrap my head around this, as Kate Niemczyk’s artwork in the Mockingbird limited series from Marvel was much better. Is Niemczyk channeling her inner Mike Allred here? It’s clear she has talent (anyone who can draw more than crude stick figures has talent compared to me), but it’s also clear that she has no idea whatsoever what the sword and sorcery genre and Conan’s world are all about. 

And if she does, then her artwork is a poor match to said genre and any Marvel editor worth their salt would have caught this. Roy Thomas details in his memoir “A Barbarian Life” just how much effort he and Stan Lee made to make sure they found an artist who could bring the world of Conan to the readers in a dynamic, in-your-face and otherworldly manner. 

At this point, it is obvious the editors at Marvel felt here that two talented creators with big names could assemble an effective comic, the rest be damned.

It’s truly sad. I don’t think either Tini Howard of Kate Niemczyk should have been set up for failure like this – they are both talented, but very out of their element with the subject matter in this book. They may know contemporary society and today’s social mores – but based on the two issues thus far, they have no idea who Howard’s (or Thomas’) Belit was, or are trying to completely re-invent the wheel. 

The pirates aboard the Tigress are caricatures, and between bad dialogue and the way they are drawn, I’d be more likely to laugh when they tried to board my ship than give their threats any weight whatsoever. At least we got to see some combat, and those are all sequences which Niemczyk handles well. It’s the character-to-character dialogue panels and smaller fight scenes where she drops the ball. 

On a scale of 1-10, I’d rate this issue a 4.0. It’s a Marvel comic, after all, and in theory it takes place in the Hyborian Age. In the words of Forrest Gump, comics are “like a box of chocolates”. If that’s the case we’re expected to eat a tofu-filled, boring and tasteless morsel with this book.