Conan should really stay away from women. They get him into trouble. Depending on your viewpoint, though, it could be Conan’s libido that gets him into trouble instead.  

 

Seven issues into Marvel’s Conan, he’s been nearly sacrificed to the Star-Stone so a woman could remain with her wizard companion (#1), taken into slavery because he followed a woman into a trap (#2), encountered an evil wizard and elder god (the wizard’s daughter – in love with Conan – is an antagonist, too) (#5),  had has gold melted into a heart by the flirtatious Jenna (#6) and in this issue, we see the pattern repeat once more. 

 

Conan the Barbarian #7 is an adaptation of “The God in the Bowl,” a Robert E. Howard story that first saw print in Space Science Fiction in 1952, long after Howard’s death. It was reportedly rejected for publication in Weird Tales, the publication responsible for printing much of his work.

 

The story, when published the first time and subsequently, was edited by L. Sprague DeCamp, an author credited for largely helping to bring Conan into the mainstream. Apparently, there were some controversies over his editing of Howard’s original story, but I am not knowledgeable enough of Robert E. Howard’s work to elaborate on that in this review.

Sources indicate that in later re-printings of the story (after 2002) the work was unedited and reflected Howard’s original tale.

Wolves have chased down what appears to be a lone woman on a chariot, and her cries for help have brought Conan to the rescue. Quickly dispatching the wolves, Conan is surprised by the rudeness of the woman whose life he just saved. He calls her a wench, and her response is simply to tell Conan to “right her chariot” and she’ll be on her way. When Conan flips the chariot back onto its wheels, a body is found underneath. “Oh, that’s just my driver,” she quips.

The lady’s sharp tongue continues, as she informs Conan that he will now “escort her to the city” of Numalia. When Conan says that he’s never driven a horse and chariot before, she informs him that it’s a good time to learn.

Upon arrival in the city, Conan’s poor chariot driving gets him into an accident – he damages the wheel of another chariot driven by Kassian, the merchant who owns Numalia’s Hall of Relics. After a run-in with the merchant and the head of the city guard, Dionus, Conan is excused when the men realize who Conan is accompanying – she’s Lady Aztrias, daughter of the Numalian governor.

Knowing that Conan is a thief, Lady Aztrias tells Conan about a group of Stygian men who arrived that morning, bearing a great sealed bowl to the Hall of Relics. They were instructed that the bowl was a “gift” for the high priest of Ibis, Karanthes, and the bearers of the gift must remain nameless.

Anyone even remotely familiar with the world of Hyboria and Conan knows that nothing good comes out of Stygia, so this should immediately set off alarm bells for the reader. Lady Aztrias, of course, wants Conan to steal what’s inside the mysterious bowl thinking that it’s going to be highly valuable.

As Conan breaks into the Hall, he’s frightened by one of the first things he sees – it’s a stuffed Elephant, and we’re immediately treated to a “flashback” to Conan #1. It’s great to see writer Thomas connecting Conan and developing a continuity to his stories. The barbarian believes, in the darkness, that he’s stumbled again upon Yag-Kosha, the elder creature.

 

CAPSULE REVIEW:  It’s difficult to criticize the early work of Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith because so much of it constitutes comic book legend and is truly the beginning of a new genre in the industry. Although this issue was good, it wasn’t one of my favorites in the duo’s fabled run. It shows Conan as sort of a buffoon who will do anything at the behest of a lady, even one who treats him poorly. I might guess (just a hypothesis) that the unusual nuances to Conan’s character in this story might be one of the reasons why Weird Tales passed on the original?

I’d rate it a 6.9 out of 10. This is particularly sad, because this issue (SPOILER ALERT!) features the first appearance of Conan’s adversary Thoth-Amon.

In later stories, Conan is not afraid to tell people exactly what he thinks and is pushed around by no one. Here, it’s “Conan fix my chariot. Now drive me into the city. Now steal this fabled relic because I know you’re a thief.” The Cimmerian we see in this story seems very un-Conan to me, and it rubs me the wrong way, detracting from enjoyment of the tale.

The art is great, and I know I am beginning to sound like a “broken record” in my reviews, but Barry Windsor-Smith’s artwork is – without question – universally good during his run on Conan.

This story is as close as Conan comes to detective noir, Hyborian style. And while it’s an interesting read, I’d rather keep this one in my collectibles box.

On eBay, as of this writing, a CGC-graded 9.6 copy was available with a buy-it-now of $226.88. A slightly lower CGC-graded 9.4 was for sale for $149.95. An 8.5 CGC-graded copy was listed with a $59.95 price tag. Ungraded copies seemed steady between $20-$40.