By JOESEPH SIMON – PM Library Associate Editor

Things are beginning to change, and Conan the Barbarian #12 perhaps foreshadows things to come, and not all of them are good. Gil Kane’s art graces the cover, and there is even a back-up story featuring his work. The creative staff for the Conan story remains the same.

I have some things to say about Barry Windsor-Smith’s art towards the end of my review … until then, what about Roy Thomas’ writing?

According to sources, including the Barry-Windsor Smith Conan Archives Vol. 2, author Roy Thomas indicates that this 16-page Conan story was originally Windsor-Smith’s tryout artwork for the comic book. That explains much of why the content in my opinion seems “off” from the rest of the series thus far. In addition, the story was cobbled together when Conan was returned to regular size from being an “over-sized” comic in terms of page count. 

Review: Conan the Barbarian (Vol. 1) #12

The issue begins as Conan is being attacked. Apparently, he dared to drink from the Springs of Zahmahn without “paying tribute to the queen!” Conan is no one to bully, even if he is sporting an odd garment that looks like a shift made of strips of cloth hanging down from some sort of neck lining.

Conan puts up a fight, but much like Batman of old, he’s knocked on the noggin and goes down for the count. The odds were admittingly against him and Conan doesn’t seem as bloodthirsty here as he is full of verbiage and bravado.

With Conan unconscious, we discover that the Queen’s paramour was killed without her knowledge. The guard here decides that Conan is the perfect scapegoat, imagining that she will have Conan flayed alive and the real murderer will never be discovered. 

Our Cimmerian is presented to the queen, who asks Conan if she should condemn him to the flayer’s knife. Conan replies “I say – loose my bonds and hand me a sword – and I’ll not walk the road to hell alone.”

Queen Fatima concludes that  Conan has courage, remarking that her own countrymen have little. She orders Yaila, a slave girl, to “fill that wine flagon” for Conan. Fatima puts forth that she needs a new captain now that her old one is dead and asks if the barbarian might be up to it. Conan replies that he “makes no bargains” while his hands are tied.

Conan is unbound and introduces himself by name, taking his wine. Yaila offers to take the new captain to his palace quarters, but the queen indicates a negative, demanding that Yaila keep her “cloying hands” away from Conan. Fatima talks in the third person, indicating perhaps that she is not all together. She tells all to leave and that Fatima will see Conan to his rooms. Why rooms instead of room? She speaks in third person, so I suppose I shouldn’t suspect anything less.

We next see Conan and Fatima treading familiar ground (reminiscent of his relationship with Jenna) arguing about the slave girl and then being intimate. Before things can get R-rated, a passage of time is noted. In fact, we’re told weeks have now passed.

Conan knows he is being watched, and decides to test the boundaries of his new position. Upon trying to exit the palace, he’s stopped by guards who claim the queen has instructed to kill him should he attempt to leave – then they mock him, calling him the palace dog.

The barbarian makes his way to the royal bath chamber, where the slave girl Yaila is washing up. She says that as the queen’s handmaid, she’s priveliged to use the royal bath. She then taunts Conan, rubbing in the source of his anger – “You think of yourself as Captain of the Queen’s Guard, but you are that in name only!” I guess Conan won’t be getting a good reference from this job for future employment.

Things escalate quickly, as Yaila somewhat successfully attempts to seduce Conan, just in time for Queen Fatima and the palace guard to barge in.

Fatima declares that Conan signed his own death warrant the moment he touched another. Conan, never at a loss for words, says, “You call me a savage, even as you condemn me for nothing? Better a swift death than the fiery embrace of a mad woman.”

Conan and Yaila are bound and left in a corridor with water that reaches Conan’s waist. They are left do die at the hands of the Dweller in the Dark.

How will Conan and Yaila survive the Lovecraft-inspired monster of Queen Fatima? And should they survive, can they take on Queen Fatima and the palace guards? Let me know what you think of this story in the comments section below.

CAPSULE REVIEW: The ending of this comic is much better than the beginning. I will summarize the end of the story by simply saying, “Better luck next time, Charlie Brown.” Conan does do a solid for someone special, even if he leaves at the end of the issue suffering sour grapes.

Other than the ending, I spent much of my time reading this issue wondering, “what just happened?” Conan is set up by the palace guards. Then he becomes their boss, in name only, and he is there for weeks on end, yet he’s constantly mocked and seems to have won the respect of no one.

Only the characters of Conan, Yaila and Fatima are even on a first-name basis until the end of the story.   I have great respect for Barry Windsor-Smith’s art, but there are some things in this issue that just can’t be ignored. Conan’s initial garb, while cool looking, was impractical. Yaila and Fatima are both drawn as unattractive. The Dweller in the Dark is not consistent in size nor in levels of intimidation.

Knowing that this story was based on pieces of initial art and Windsor-Smith’s application process was a relief, and explains many of my concerns about the issue. It really is a shame, as the only thing I enjoyed in this issue was the ending. I rate it a 5 out of 10.