In the last twenty years, we have seen some critically acclaimed and financially successful films based on comic book characters . The Captain America trilogy, Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, The Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers, and Deadpool films are all fairly recent blockbusters. This is not to say that superhero films have not had success before. Tim Burton’s Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992) were financial successes and were nominated for Academy Awards with Batman (1989) winning one; three Oscar wins went to Warren Beatty’s Dick Tracy (1990), and Superman: The Movie (1978) was nominated for three Academy Awards, winning an Oscar for Special Achievement for Visual Effects for a total of four Oscar nods. Tom Tyler’s portrayal as Captain Marvel (the wizard’s name is Shazam) in Republic Pictures’ 1941 movie serial is regarded the best movie serial ever produced along with the Flash Gordon serial, which heavily influenced the George Lucas Star Wars films. The flight sequences in the Captain Marvel serial are very impressive given their budget and technology in that golden era of Hollywood.
We have also seen films based on superhero properties that were good, but ended up failing at the box office. Films like Billy Campbell’s The Rocketeer (1991), Billy Zane’s The Phantom (1996), and Dolph Lundgren’s He-Man and The Masters of The Universe (1987) flopped but they are entirely watchable and entertaining films. Each of these movies have since developed cult followings which isn’t something to dismiss. Zane’s Phantom movie did very well in VHS and DVD sales and was on Netflix not too long ago. As for He-Man, Frank Langella is deliciously evil as Skeletor and Jack Kirby fans will have a field day with the references to Kirby’s New Gods:/Fourth World work in this film. (The director is on record admitting to this.) In time, these films may become even more popular. Remember, even the classic 1939 musical The Wizard of Oz was a commercial flop when it was released. That family favorite film property is worth millions now….including props from the film such as the ruby red slippers Judy Garland wore in the film as Dorothy Gale.
There are some films that are just hopeless; they are the weakest links in the chain, the colossal mega-stinkers. The ones that put the “B.O.” in Box Office (B.O. in American slang means smelly body odor, so yes, that bad!) These movies are so awful you wonder how they got filmed in the first place. How did someone get suckered so badly into producing these disasters? Who made that fool part with his money so easily that angry filmgoers demanded refunds, screenwriters were blacklisted, and the casting directors barred from future film projects, be it on the big screen or on television?
There has been many a failed disaster of superhero films that will live on in infamy. These were “classic” bombs like Ben Affleck’s Daredevil, Jennifer Garner’s Elektra, Seth Rogen’s The Green Hornet (Rogen needs to retire just because of that film), Halle Berry’s Cat-Woman (she wasn’t even Selina Kyle!) and Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern. As lousy as these films are, they did not make the list of the top five biggest stinkers.
What films could possibly be worse than these? Let me jog your memory….
5. STEEL (1997)
Long before Black Panther and Luke Cage we had Steel produced on film, starring NBA superstar and champion, Shaquille O’Neal. It was a risky film to begin with. Steel was just a supporting DC character from the Superman mythos. The sales of the comic book based on Steel (long ago) in one of DC’s many reboots were not exactly spectacular. But the film was directed and written by Kenneth Johnson so there was some hope for the project and after all, O’Neal was a popular person in the public eye. Johnson did create legendary science fiction television shows like the series “V” and “The Bionic Woman” and he was instrumental in developing “Alien Nation” and “The Incredible Hulk”. Unfortunately, Steel didn’t gel.The only good thing from this film was a heavily and overly exploited joke that referenced O’Neal’s poor record in making free-throws.
4. THE FANTASTIC FOUR (2015)
What could be worse than all previous versions of the Fantastic Four live action films? THIS ONE. A totally revamped version of the first family of comics when the fans were begging – BEGGING, I say – for one great film and what did they get? A science fiction film that would have fared better as a stand-alone rather than a FF movie. It did not help the fate of this film that some of the lead actors made highly publicized remarks prior to and during the filming of this movie; nor did it help that the media plagued the film with its constant barrage of analysis and mud slinging. The director fighting with cast and crew and leaving the project in this one-act debacle pretty much sealed the fate that no one could have prevented. Personally, the director and I have a mutual friend. I was with that mutual friend when the director told him he got the job to direct the film. He told my friend his plans and I immediately asked him to have the director reconsider – I knew the fans wanted a Fantastic Four film done right. Ah well, at least we Fantastic Four fans still have The Incredibles….
3. SUPERMAN III (1983)
You figure after TWO great Superman films that defined the character for generations, why would Hollywood make a Superman film where the title character plays second fiddle to an out-of-place comic legend? Both Richard Pryor and Christopher Reeve seem to be merely waltzing through this debacle of a sequel for a fat paycheck. What about Superman’s evil twin? Well, what about him? This is how evil Superman’s twin is – he straightened out Italy’s Leaning Tower of Pisa. Wow! What’s next? Maybe he forecloses on the orphanage after he ties a damsel in distress to some train tracks, all the while twirling his moustache? Well, at least it ended and it was over and done with.
2. SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE (1987)
Oh Rats. It wasn’t over and done with. This one is an incredible train wreck. The premise is ridiculous. Superman is practically tyrant of the Earth, as he informs all governments that he is getting rid of their nuclear weapons. They blindly accept his “generous” act. Seriously? That act would make him world enemy and global threat #1 to nations of the planet Earth if he truly existed. Who is he to dictate world policy and step on the sovereign power of each country? We also get to see Mariel Hemingway as Clark Kent’s new love interest breathe in outer space. What? This film is an unceasing facepalm from start to end. No matter how you feel about Man of Steel (2013), it doesn’t compare to how awful this stinker of a flop is to the senses and your IQ.
AND FINALLY…
1. THE MAN-THING (2005)
Fin Fang Foom! What were they thinking? This is the worst of the bunch. I’m jealous of everyone who doesn’t even remember this horror show that makes George Lucas’ Howard The Duck look good. A made for television film that premiered on the SyFy (nee: SciFi) Network, it certainly wasn’t the Man-Thing from Marvel Comics. His powers are different, his origin is different – you figure the people behind the 2015 Fantastic Four film would have paid attention to a disastrous formula in bringing a property to film. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! His costume looks like a reject of the Spawn suit spray painted in green from that awful 1997 Spawn film (which made number 6 on this list!) If a character is liked by the fans as is, you just don’t mess with it. You give the public what it wants otherwise you reap what you sow and in the case of The Man-Thing, they reaped a disaster! You’re much better off watching DC’s Swamp Thing films and television series than the unrecognizable Man-Thing mess.
“The Man-Thing…”
It should’ve been called: “Man! What IS this THING!” Sheesh.
What do you think, readers? Do you know of any comic films we can add to this list?
English
Arabic
Chinese (Simplified)
Dutch
French
German
Italian
Portuguese
Russian
Spanish
REVIEW: OAR #2 Renews, Refreshes An RPG Classic
(EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to Musings from the Monk, a semi-regular column written by the chief archivist and comic nut who organizes Paint Monk’s Library ...
REVIEW: Red Sonja #19 a Good “Jumping Off” Point
"JUMPING-ON POINT FOR NEW READERS. Sonja The Red, victorious. But ruling is impossible. And a young, old foe returns with a plan ...
Moon Knight Squares Off with The Sun King
REVIEW: MOON KNIGHT #193 (Written by Max Bemis with art by Jacen Burrows)
When the avatars of the sun and the moon get ready ...
Five Forgettable Failures in Comic Book Filmland
PM Librarian Dean Plakas Lists The 5 SUPERHERO MOVIES THAT JUST DIDN’T WORK!