By BOB FREEMAN – Paint Monk’s Library Writer
Growing up in the wilds of Indiana, as a child, comics were my first true love. I can vividly remember hopping on the back of a train and riding it into\ town with two empty bottle cartons in tow. Then, I’d wander those small town streets gathering returnable pop bottles until both cartons were full and I’d deliver them to Mr. Cain at Cain’s Sundries in exchange for $1.60.
That buck sixty would garner five comic boks and a pack of Topps bubble gum cards back then. Some days, I’d be lucky enough to have some extra change and snatch up a Coke with a squirt of cherry phosphate to go along with the four color masterpieces being offered weekly from Marvel, DC, Charlton, Atlas and others. Even luckier days I’d catch Mr. Cain when he was stripping covers and I’d get to go home with a sack full of comics with their mastheads torn off.
My first Conan was issue 36. The Fury of the Stone God, it proclaimed. The year was 1974 so I would have been all of 8 years old. That was a big year for me in many respects, but discovering Conan the Cimmerian has to rank up there with one of the most important red-letter days of my life.
I read Conan the Barbarian (and more importantly Savage Sword) religiously thereafter, until Thomas and Buscema had both walked away from the flagship title. Oh, I stuck around for a bit after Buscema, in the late 80s, but the quality was declining quickly and I gave it a rest.
And then Marvel Comics let Conan go and my interest was rekindled when Dark Horse claimed the license. I enjoyed a lot of what Dark Horse accomplished with Howard’s creation. Creators like Tim Truman and Tomas Giorello, in particular, really captured the fiery spirit that Robert E. Howard originally invoked and Roy Thomas, Barry Windsor-Smith, and John Buscema had done so well in translating for Marvel.
But eventually, just as Marvel had in the late 80s, the quality of Dark Horse Conan tales began to decline and I had settled once more into reading back issues of Savage Sword and Conan Saga to get my fix.
Then, rumors began to swirl. Conan was coming back to Marvel. Conan and Howard fandom was abuzz in anticipation. The hype was escalating. The fans were feverish. And then, it was here at last, Conan’s bombastic return to the House of Ideas, with Jason Aaron and Mahmud Asrar bringing the Hyborian Age to life once more.
Could Aaron and Asrar live up to the hype being generated by the marketing machine of Marvel Comics?
So far, for me, sadly the answer has been ‘no’. Let’s take a look.
A Brief Synopsis of Conan (2019) #1 & #2
In the debut issue, we are reintroduced to Conan, recalling his birth on the battlefield in the frozen hills of Cimmeria through his struggles to eventually claim the throne of Aquilonia.
We then find Conan as a brash youth, a pit fighter of immeasurable skill. A beautiful woman catches his eye and he is led to her bed, but then, changing into a hag, he learns he has been marked for death, that his power might fuel her foul sorceries.
Of course, Conan being Conan, he beheads the sorceress, but her dying words promise that he would die that Razazel would rise again.
Years later, King Conan stands victorious on the field of battle, strolling amongst the dead and dying, when he comes upon two odd, orphan children who herald the return of the Crimson Witch that he had slain those many years before. The witch rises up from the earth and Conan is struck down.
This brings us to the second issue, where we find Conan, young and strong, seeking revenge against the Picts along the Black River. As he hunts his savage prey, he comes upon a nest of giant snakes which be becomes locked in mortal combat with, eventually collapsing from the creatures’ deadly venom.
The Cimmerian awakens to find himself in a Pict village, being tended to by a shaman. Eventually, he is healed and tasked with eliminating the kingsnake that is bringing these giant serpents against the people who call the Pictish wilderness their home.
Conan repays his debt to the Picts and slays the beast then returns to civilization, realizing that he is more closely akin to the Picts he despises than the civilized men he interacts with.
We are left with two beggar children, the same two orphans from the end of issue one, who hold back in attempting to kill the Cimmerian, stating he is not yet ripe.
Capsule Review: Conan the Barbarian #1 (2019)
Shall we discuss what I don’t like about the title before delving into what I do?
First of all, its sloppy. The photoshopped montage of past Conan adventures from the House of Ideas was not planned out very well. Old text should have been removed, presenting a cleaner image. Nit-picky? Maybe. But I expect better from a professional comic book entity.
The same could be said of Mahmud Asar’s inks. Not on every panel,
but there are instances where the art seems muddy. The same could be
said of the underlying framework. 90% of the book is penciled solid
enough, but there are panels where I’m left scratching my head,
wondering how some of the awkward poses slipped past a critical eye.
The writing is mostly okay. I like Jason Aaron’s work a lot, and
the lion’s share of the issue is fine. Not breathtaking, but
serviceable.
The worst offender in this issue is Travis Lanham. The lettering is
indicative of modern comics and their reliance on computers to do the
heavy-lifting. It just does not work on any level for me, totally
taking me out of the book. It just doesn’t fit.
Based on the above, you probably think I didn’t care for this
comic. Well, the fact of the matter is, I enjoyed it very much. The
cover art is cracking good stuff from Esad Ribic and really sets the
tone for what is to come after.
The plot is great and faithful to Howard’s vision for the most
part. Aaron does a great job of giving us what you would expect from
a Conan tale and then delivers a nice twist in the final pages.
The editorial page was concise and a pleasant read. The creators’
enthusiasm for the project is refreshing and encouraging.
The highlight for me, however, was the first installment of John C
Hocking’s Black Starlight, a serialized Conan tale which will be a
part of the Aaron/Asar 12-issue run.
Hocking paints an interesting picture, with plenty of atmosphere. I
have high hopes for where this story may go.
All in all, a solid debut for Conan’s return to Marvel’s fold.
While not perfect, we are given an entertaining sword & sorcery
yarn and the promise of much more to come.
On a scale of 1-10 skulls of my enemies, I would rate this worthy of
7.
Capsule Review: Conan the Barbarian #2
So close, but oh so
far. Two issues into Marvel’s relaunch of Conan the Barbarian and I
am deflated. Jason Aaron has proven himself to be a very capable
writer, and there are moments in this where he is solid enough, but
Conan’s interaction with the Picts rings false with me.
I don’t have issues with the plot, per se, but with one character
in particular — the Pict shaman. Story-wise, I like the idea of it.
The Picts turn to Conan to save them from the King Snake. Makes
sense. The Cimmerian is a formidable foe and has a knack for
overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. The shaman knows this
and him recruiting Conan is a sensible motivation.
But his dialogue is all wrong. He speaks more like a palace vizier
than a pictish healer living beyond the reach of civilization. Yes, I
get that Howard’s picts were an odd blend of Native American and
the actual Picts of historic record, but this shaman hews too close
to Kicking Bird for my taste.
Kicking Pict? The author believes the Pict shaman in Conan #2 is over the top. |
They might as well have called this Dances with Snakes and been done
with it.
I get what Aaron was going for. Howard certainly addressed the themes
of civilization vs barbarism in his original tales, but by
mishandling the shaman’s dialogue it detracts from what could have
been a more powerful message. By making the shaman come across as
polished and educated you lose the proper perspective and it becomes
preachy instead of enlightening.
The art continues to be disappointing, coming nowhere near the
grandeur of any number of luminaries who have been tasked with
illustrating the Hyborian Age. Is Asrar the worst that has put pen to
paper? Not by a long shot, but if you’re going to embark on such a
high-profile relaunch, then why not reel in a heavy hitter, someone
more suited for the task.
The colors were adequate, but Lanham’s lettering still leaves a lot
to be desired.
I’ll be sticking with the title, because there is enough there to
hold my interest, but I expected better from Marvel… Thing is, I’m
having a hard time remembering why. Marvel has been a pale shadow of
itself for years. Why did I think Conan would be different?
As for Black Starlight, we were treated to a second installment of
John Hocking’s serialized novella and, like the first snippet, it’s
a solid read. Conan and his companions set up camp in the seemingly
abandoned village and a mysterious thief steals Zelandra’s supply
of Black Lotus.
Not a lot to chew on, and it’s certainly got none of Howard’s
fiery prose, but I’m enjoying it well enough and eager for the next
installment.
On a scale of 1-10 skulls of my enemies, I would rate this issue
worthy of 6.
Alba Gu Brath – Bob
Freeeman (aka The Occult Detective)
EDITORIAL: Retro Randy’s Xenozoic Tales Playset
I am a huge fan of Xenozoic Tales by Mark Schultz. I’m a sucker for any comic book that has dinosaurs in it, and well-drawn dinosaurs at that! The series has a modernized pulp-art feeling to it that just makes me all warm and nostalgic inside. It’s got classic cars, too. And guns. And Hannah Dundee.
In a moment of free time a last week, I was surfing “Xenozoic Tales” on eBay and came across an unusual item…A “Xenozoic Tales Play Set.” Hmmm…what could this be?
When in doubt, Google. In searching, I found an inconspicuous little blog that hadn’t been updated since 2016. The blog featured a rather zany header and was called “Retro Randy.” What I learned from this post prompted me to make an offer to the seller – and I acquired this eccentric item for a mere $12.Graphic designer Randy Dahlk writes the following:
From the Retro Randy blog, a post from January 23, 2009 (bold-faced type added for emphasis):
I had stumbled across an item created by a friend of Mark Schultz, sold at San Diego Comic-Con in 2007, and produced in a limited edition quantity of TEN. Whether it’s in demand or not to me is irrelevant – it’s still a really neat and very rare piece of Xenozoic Tales history.
In breaking down the play set, it really doesn’t have much that’s exciting inside the box – as Retro Randy himself writes, it has those (really bad) dinosaurs that you’d find in a plastic bag at the dollar store, along with a plastic wall, four soldiers, and a palm tree. But it’s not the contents that are important – it’s the retro-design to the box which makes this a bookshelf keepsake.
Judging from the photographs in the eBay auction, I’m not sure if this is one of the original ten that were produced. The signature does not appear to me to belong to Schultz. Plus, I’m not sure if the tag is numbered. The reverse side of the tag isn’t pictured. (EDIT: This is indeed one of the ten – it’s #8! Everything looks great! To break everything down: $12 for Mark Schultz autograph AND a limited edition Xenozoic product. JACKPOT!)
If you aren’t familiar with Xenozoic Tales or its successor, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs, I’ve included the Wikipedia entry for the franchise below.
As always, I am….Wally (AKA Paint Monk)
About Mark Schultz and Xenozoic Tales
(From Wikipedia, with links intact)